vettysazzy | Why Men Are Dicks, And People Who Think There's No Longer A Need For The Feminist Movement Are Wrong

Last night I went out with some friends. It was a good night.

Unfortunately, they live in halls in Kentish Town, and I live near Caledonian Road, so we had to get different night buses home. I don't mind getting the night bus by myself - I mean, it's not my favorite thing in the world, but plenty of people on it at that time and I was sitting near the driver so I felt quite safe. Plus they have CCTV on the buses in London.

So, bus ride was fine. There's about a five minute walk from the bus stop to my house, and it's a quiet road even in the day time, so I wasn't overly excited about having to walk home alone at 2.30AM, but I was just hoping I wouldn't see anyone. I've learnt from experience that a woman in a dress late at night + strange, possibly drunk, men = at the very least having stuff shouted at you.

Sadly, that's exactly what happened.

There were three men walking on the other side of the road. When they saw me they started shouting things like "Why are you coming home alone at this time of night?" I just ignored them.

Then one of them said "We should rape her."

I've never been so scared in my life. Don't get me wrong, nothing happened - they didn't even cross to my side of the road. It was probably their idea of a "joke", but it was completely fucking terrifying.

I just... I don't understand. Who would ever think that that was an appropriate - much less funny - thing to say? And yeah, I know, walking home alone in the wee hours isn't the most sensible thing ever, but you know what? I should be able to walk wherever I want, whenever I want, without feeling at risk. What kind of world do we live in where a woman can't walk alone at night without a strange man threatening to rape her?

I feel really shaken up. :(

I'm going to go to my friends' flat tonight for a party. I think on the way I'll stop in the Police Station and see if they have any rape alarms. I'd just feel safer if I could have that in my hand if I have to come home late at night again.

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I would have FLIPPED. I am a rape victim and you know what, jokes like that are NEVER fun, not when you haven't been raped, or when you have. They are simply NOT FUNNY. I would have seriously given those guys I piece of my mind. Granted, I also carry a knife with me at all times, when walking about in the city at night. I don't need Mace, I have fists. And trust me, if I scream, people come running.

That sucks so hard, I'm sorry you had to go through that. *hugs*

Aww honey *hugs* I'm really sorry that you've been through that.

Yeah, part of me wanted to turn around and shout at them, I was pretty angry as well as scared. But the rest of me just wanted to get away and not antagonise them. I mean if they're willing to joke about something like that who knows what else they're willing to do? :(

I just feel like crying. It's really shaken me up :(

We're not allowed to carry weapons in the UK, even mace is illegal. TBH I wouldn't feel confortable carrying a knife anyway. However, we had a talk from the police about personal safety at my uni, and he said carrying a bottle of perfume was a good substitue for mace - perfectly leagal, but spray it in someones eyes and it'll sting like a motherfucker :) Might get in the habbit of keeping some cheap perfume in my bag too, lol.

I would have called the cops. It is disgusting, the attitude of seeing 'rape' as something to joke about- disgusting and frightfully 'acceptable', especially amongst- I don't want to say younger folks and give folks a bad name- but I see it all the time in game (WoW), where the term 'rape' is something that is acceptable to joke about and give new and positive meaning to. For example in game, I have had guildmates say 'I got raped by....' to explain a defeat or 'We raped....' to explain a victory.

Those folks usually don't have a home in our guild very long, but it is disturbing how the term is being used and how acceptable it is becoming to joke about it.

Where the hell do people get off saying things like that? It's so disturbing. I don't blame you for not stopping and saying something, I probably would've done the same thing (although I would've wanted to yell at them...) but that's so inappropriate!

I sometimes get sketched out walking across the street into my complex from the bus late at night (I'm near downtown- still it's like a two minute walk), I would've been terrified if that happened to me.

Perfume sounds like a good idea to keep around, but it's stupid that you even have to worry about stuff like that. Sometimes I really wonder about people...

<3

Jesus fucking christ under a bus! What complete and utter turds. Wanker turds. I cannot BELIEVE anyone would do that.

I hope they get cancer and die painful deaths.

It's illegal to carry mace here too...you need a 'concealed weapon' permit. Knives, on the other hand, are perfect legal in my state so long as its not a switch blade. Mine isn't. Of course, I loosened the flip screw to make it really easy to open the knife...

It's pretty statistically proven that even if you *aren't* carrying a knife, SAYING that you are actually gives an attacker pause because that's an altercation that they weren't expecting. Actually having one is just a comfort measure. Next time I go to England I won't have it though, 'cause I won't be carrying on the plane...

I can't imagine how scary that must have been, :(.

*hugs*

It would have taken a lot for me to not get illegally violent in that scenario....
I'm so sorry hon! /huggles til they go away and get shanked in prison/

This.

Yeah. I had to take some male friends down a peg cuz they kept using it just as some verb to toss around. They will not forget that conversation I assure you.

I know, it's like when people use the term "facebook rape". Just, no. People don't seem to realise that using it as a jokey term directly feeds into rape culture. I mean, "facebook rape" doesn't seem like a big deal, but it introduces rape as an acceptable punchline and before you know it, you're pretty much threatening to gang rape a stranger "for a laugh". :(

I know :( I just don't get why the hell anyone would ever SAY that? I mean what the fuck is wrong with them to think that's in any way okay?

I know :( I don't know what is wrong with people sometimes :(

Thanks *hugs back*

Yeah, I was more than prepared to give them a good kick in the balls if they came anywhere near me...

*huggles* But remember, not all of London is like that! I've been living here for a year and a half now and that's the first time anything like that's happened.

The fucking turds!
They're just sick, sick, sick, SICK!!!
Urgh. It's just wrong.

I'm super happy to hear you're okay.

Thanks. It was pretty scary but I'm feeling better now.

Why Men Are Dicks, And People Who Think There's No Longer A Need For The Feminist Movement Are Wrong

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